Thursday, 2 October 2014

Berlari

Kata-kata itu seolah merobek isi hati,
Memanah jantung, melapah tubuh,
Namun, tiada manusia sehebat yang Esa,
Aku pasrah.

Senyum, hilai tawa menutup semua duka,
Siapa sangka diri ini macam tak punya masalah,
Namun, di sebalik suara besar anugerah Allah, tersembunyi segala duka dan cerita,
Aku tersenyum hampa.

Antara kehilangan memori atau lumpuh selamanya??
Ya Allah, sungguh aku takut dengan semuanya,
Mana pergi darah panglima, mana hilangnya kesatria,
Mungkin kematian saja dapat diterima,
Sungguh, Aku berkata,
Aku takut untuk menerima.

Hidup memang tak selalunya indah,
Memang banyak tragis dari suka,
Untuk itu, haruskah aku berpaling tadah?
Tidak, kerana Allah sang pencipta,
Punya agenda, masa yang sempurna,
Aku gagah.

Ada yang mengenali tapi tak mengetahui,
Helai tawa penutup sang air mata,
Keras penutup hati yang lemah,
Kerana itu dunia yang fana,
Perlu cekal berdiri megah,
Aku masih bisa tersenyum di sana.

Detak jantung berdegup kencang,
Seolah itu saatnya pengakhiran,
Tapi jiwa melawan arus kencang,
Ya Allah berikan aku kekuatan.

Senyum,
Tabah,
Terus melangkah,
Berlari ke depan,
Mengejar matahari,
Memetik pelangi,
Menjadi penghias bumi,
Sampai nanti bila tiba untuk pergi.

Nukilan Cik Mai.
P/S Jangan Menyerah.

Till we meet again.
Much love.

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

After all these years

Hello Laskar Pelangi,

Miss me? I'm good, Alhamdulillah. Since I know that "thing" exist in my brain, my life would never be the same again but don't get it wrong. I won't let this kind of problem ruin my life. I won't surrender. This is my life. I have full control of it with the bless of Allah.

I met the Neuro Surgeon last Tuesday. He is a good doctor. He advise me to not too worry about this and live my life as it is. He said, we don't have to know everything in life. Sometimes, if the thing happened but not even 1% border you, so just leave it there. No harm to deal with it compare to throw it that might cause something worse. I admit that, I am 100% agreed with him because his opinion is just a same with mine.

Actually the incident not even make me weak but I can say that, it makes me strong even more. But I don't say that it doesn't impact my emotion. Yes, I was so stressed, feeling down, cry all night long and a bit frustrated towards life. Above all that, some little voice always whisper to myself that I should be grateful and live my life as normal as I can. I won't give up.

You know what, the best part is, the "thing" has been with for the past 4 years and none of the doctors told me before. No, I am not angry on that hence I feel so blessed that all these years, I live my life as it is. Perhaps the Neuro Surgeon prediction is true. Maybe I was born with it. Silly joke on it, I told myself that heyy come on, that thing gives you something good. Entah2 sebab tu ko bijak kot. Dpt dean list every semester. Ended up dgn first class degree. Hahaha okkkk, that's enough!!

When I all alone, I think about death. As a Muslim, there is no harm to remember the day of thereafter. But for me, am I ready? I told you my secret. I am damn scared. I scared. Who's going to take care of my mom and dad?? My little sister is still study. I'm not really worried about my only big and two younger brothers because they already have their own life. InshaAllah they can survive if anything happens to me.

To be honest, every single bad things that happens, break me into pieces. I always cry at night and think what's happen next? And I always don't have the answer cause Allah knows better and I believe in Qada dan Qadar.

Till then
Much love.

Monday, 22 September 2014

"B"

Laskar Pelangi,


How are you? Remember I once told ya? September is one of my favorite month. Hahaha Why? Ermm not my birthday month, not even anyone that I loved but it just for something called "B". Woowww... no no no, it's not stand for Baby, By, Boo or anything like that. It is just something that I can say a reward for working hard for a year :p

So, few days before 26th, my heart beats fast hahaha.. Till the day reveal everything, I have to wait patiently. 

Till we meet again,
Much love :)

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Sweet little things that means a lot

Pernah tak rasa benda kecik tapi sangat terkesan di hati?
Ok, maksud saya, macam tetiba masuk ofis pepagi, ada coklat atas meja. Rupanya kawan ofis baru balik dari oversea. Walaupun la bukan sebungkus tapi still ada rasa happy? Betul tak?
Atau masa lapar nak mampuih tetiba boss bagi pizza or apa2 je makanan lebihan dari meeting. Sukaaaa. Haha

Tu pasal benda. Ada juga lahir dari kata2. Walau sependek mana ayat tu, tp terkesan kat hati. Cewahhhh. Bukan la maksud saya I love you ke I miss you or lain2 yang romatik kononnyaa tuu. Maksud saya, simple words. Macam ada orang tanya "Da makan ke?" atau "Demam eh harini?" atau paling bodo pun bila di akhir perbualan, orang tu kata "take care". Haaa semua tu category kind words yang orang nampak simple tapi impaknya tetap ada.

Hmm yup, mungkin orang lain anggap semua tu sekecil zarah yang mungkin nampak bodo je kalau kita happy. Tapi pada saya benda2 macam tu la patut ada dalam kehidupan kita. Walau kecil tapi kalau ikhlas, orang akan berterima kasih. Sama macam senyum, kalau pagi2 kita bertegur sapa "good morning" pada office mate, mesti rasa ceria je. Just a simple words, people. Come on. Make life simple. Be kind.

Till we meet again.
Much love :)

Friday, 12 September 2014

September

Hello Laskar Pelangi,

It's September! Do you notice that time flies so fast? My God. 3 months to New Year 2015. Alhamdulillah. I'm still has a change to live alive. Hmm talking about time. Yes, it's confuse me sometimes. So fast. My nephew already 2 years old. He is still my only nephew that I have at the moment. And his aunt?? I am 30 years old!! Officially. I still remember last time while I was 25, I keep thinking why and how do I look like when I'm 30. And this is the answer. Nothing much different. Hahaha! Nope, I didn't say that I still young or look young but in terms of life, I'm still like 5 years ago. Busy with my career, take care of my parents, brothers and sister. Hmm Ya, I'm still the same I guess :)

Life makes me mature than my age. Even though I didn't yet a wife or mother, but seems like I went through all the roles and responsibilities in my daily routine. The character of husband, child, parents or any are always there, surrounding me. So I have to take care and please everybody as they are. I know I can't compare myself with others. That is why I keep thankful for whatever I have. No one is perfect. In the age of 30, I have miss something in life but I do have something else in life. That is Allah. He is fair enough to all of us. 

Nothing to be worry. Nothing to be rush. Nothing to be chase. I learn that. What I suppose to do is to live my life. Be kind. Because someday I will be a memory to others. That is what I did and do everyday. 

Till we meet again,
Much Love :)

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Di Sini Lahirnya Sebuah Cinta

31 Ogos 2014
#disinilahirnyasebuahcinta
#malaysia57